White Men in Tech and Their Egos
I am a lawyer. I am a thought leader. I am an expert in my field. I am responsible for hundreds of artists and creative professionals having the ability to work in their field. I am a business owner. I am an employer.
But I am also at the bottom of the social ladder in the US.
Why? Because I am a woman and because I am a woman of color. I am a prime target for mansplaining.
Everyday, three times a day, I go live on Facebook to provide valuable information to viewers about issues about the Artist Visa at 12:00pm, Entertainment Law at 2:30pm and Creative Career Advice at 4:00pm.
A couple of months ago, I was contacted privately by a man who does not work in my practice area and who works in the legal tech field, who wanted to give me “feedback” about the language that I utilize to communicate with my audience.
Although my time on social media has not been as long as many other attorneys, I am finding that feedback is just code for unsolicited advice and that men, particularly white men, love to mansplain women.
The interaction I had was quite problematic because he was:
1. Generalizing artists and their experiences;
2. Using his anecdotal experience as the barometer for how I should speak and the language that I should use;
3. Pretentious enough to believe that I did not understand the impact and the use of my language;
4. Educating me on racism and how he was trying to be an ally.
The effect of this, whether he realized it or not, was to:
1. Silence me and
2. Police my language;
His behavior speaks to his unconscious and conscious biases towards me as a woman and a woman of color.
I wish I was wrong about this. I really wish I was.
I guess I should be happy that he wanted to have a conversation about this and listened to my thoughts about his mansplaining? He’s a nice guy, but his words weren’t nice. And while I was breastfeeding my son and running after my toddler daughter, I vigorously defended my words on Facebook Messenger.
When I shared this experience with my paralegal, a Latina woman who is an aspiring lawyer, she looked at me unshocked and said matter of factly, doesn’t this happen all the time?
When I shared my experience with my female colleagues. I was confronted with the sad reality. This. Happens. Often.
It does.
What is up with white men in tech and their egos?
